Went to Costco after work with the kids. Needed gas. Bella had had no nap and was falling apart as we parked the car. She wanted me to hold her. I did not want to hold her. Neither one of us was going to budge on this. The difference is I was not crying and screaming about it. But I refused to give in, so I did the dreaded deed that so many parents have done at times. You know the deed. You've no doubt witnessed it (or heard it) if you haven't done it yourself.
I dragged my screaming kid through the store while I shopped.
Yes, everyone looked. Some people even looked a little annoyed. At least it was Costco, nice and roomy. A screaming fit in Trader Joe's is hard to hide, but a screaming fit in Costco is manageable, although still a little embarrassing.
To clarify, I didn't exactly drag her. I held her hand firmly and walked. I continually (and calmly, I'm proud to say) gave her the option: she could ride in the cart or she could walk. I had had a hard day. I was tired. She's heavy. I was not going to carry her. Period.
After getting through half the store, I finally gave her the option of riding on my shoulders, which she took, much to the relief of all the other shoppers, I'm sure. I kind of gave in, I suppose, but it's easier to carry her on my shoulders than in my arms. So I can justify it that way. Neither of us got exactly what we wanted, but we came to an agreeable solution. Yes, you can compromise with a 3-year-old.
Anyway, the whole experience made me think of the times when I've seen a parent with a screaming kid in a store. I always make a bit of a silent judgment. It's only human. Man, that kid is spoiled. Or that kid's a brat. Or that parent has no control. But sometimes it's just been a long day. Sometimes, circumstances prevent the normal nap from occurring. Sometimes, when you've driven 30 minutes to get to a store, you can't just turn around and go home because your kid is throwing a fit. Sometimes you refuse to give in because you know it will make it worse next time. Sometimes it's not a loss of control, but a carefully orchestrated, noisy control.
I know. I just lived it a few hours ago.
7 comments:
Well handled my friend. I admire your patience and resolve. Hard to keep cool in these situations I expect.
No doubt I may find myself in a similar situation in time. Hope I can handle it in a similarly composed fashion.
Definitely been and done that. You did well, my son. Someday these loud protests will be gone. She will be able to reason with her parents (and others) instead of demand. It is tough and you are very strong. I love you so very much for who you are.
Yes, we have all judged and all found ourselves in embarassing situations where we feel like we are being judged. I think it is good that we experience both sides of the spectrum. Perspective is good. Multiple viewpoints of perspective even better. It makes us compassionate and goodness knows the world could stand a lot of that.
Well, I personally have never had an issue with my children behaving in public. They are all perfect angels. So I can't believe you would actually let your child scream throughout the entire store. Have you lost your mind? Actually, I have been known to calmly take my children by the hands and simply walk them out of the store with them kicking and screaming, while everyone stared like I was being a horrible mother, when the truth was I was just not going to give in to their wants and therefore, simply removing them from the situation before I choked them or worse;) Way to keep your cool when leaving is not an option. Isn't being a parent so much fun?
atta boy, compromise is not always a bad thing. Sometimes you just do what you gotta do. At least you didn't leave them waiting in the hot car alone!!!
love ya!
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Wow. I never want to be a parent. I really don't give parents enough credit sometimes. I mean, I've had my share of rough babysitting situations, but nothing compared to the day-to-day struggle with kids that are actually yours. You have my congratulations on being such a strong person. I actually commend parents EVERYWHERE who have the alacrity to handle situations with such grace, even in the potential embarrassing situation.
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