Sunday, July 3, 2022

The Hellish Inferno that is Parma

We slept in. One of the best parts of any vacation no matter where you are. The sleep-in. Second best is the lie-in, where you are awake but you stay in bed for a while.

I was awake before the girls, as usual, so after an hour or so lie-in, I got up and took my shower. Then I worked on my blog while the girls got up and ready.

The plan today was to take a train into Parma and explore the city. Flying blind. We had tre cappuccini and pastries at a cafe, and finally figured out, after hearing the server repeat our order back to us correctly, that when we order three cappuccinos, the plural is cappuccini. We'll do it right next time!

The cappuccino is so good here that Cristina, who takes two sugars in her tea at home, is drinking cappuccino in Italy with no sugar. Yep. That good.

We went by OVS again to get me a few more shirts (they're organic cotton and so cheap!) and then dropped everything off at home before heading to the train station, which is literally right next to our apartment. The train to Parma was about 3 euros per person each way. We went ahead and bought the return tickets too.

We boarded our train and headed to Parma, famous for its food and rich gastronomical tradition: two of its specialties are Parmigiano Reggiano cheese, and Prosciutto di Parma (Parma ham), both given Protected Designation of Origin status. We didn't book a tour or anything, so this was catch-as-catch-can.

On the train to Parma
I can't emphasize strongly enough how hot it was today. And sunny. Just unrelenting brutal Italian summer heat. What blows my mind is that Parma is roughly on the same latitude line as Minneapolis. I know it's not fair to just compare latitudes, but I can't imagine Minneapolis being this hot.

First we tried to rent bikes. There's a bike rental place right beside the train station, but like almost everything in Italy, it's closed mid-day, from about noon to 3 pm. And we got to Parma right around noon. Bikes would be a way to see more of the city, and at the very least be a fun way to get around and create some breeze. There were some self-serve bikes you can rent thru an app, so we downloaded the app and tried to register, but all three of us hit walls and couldn't complete registration. After messing with the app for a good 30 minutes, we gave up and resigned ourselves to walking.

As we set off on foot, I'm pretty sure the temp was around 300 degrees Fahrenheit. It was hot, ya'll.

We used signs and Google maps to find something remotely interesting. It looked like nothing was open. The very first episode of the Twilight Zone was called "Where is Everybody?" and it's about an astronaut who finds himself in a town with no people and he can't figure out where everyone is. It was kinda like that.

We crossed a large bridge. The river looked the way this day felt. Dried up, stagnant. Clogged with algae, and barely trickling through, it was not the artery of vitality that rivers tend to be.

We finally made it to a big central park, where we sat on a shady bench, where it was only 250 degrees. I don't even remember what we did on the bench. Drink some water, ponder where everyone was, rethink our life choices...

Actually, there were some people at the park. So we weren't the only ones crazy enough to be outside in that heat. We walked on and found a little cafe in the park. It only served two things: gelato and drinks. As we found a table, I saw a server walk by with a platter full of coffee. I love coffee, but how could someone order hot coffee in this heat? I sweated approximately 10cc more sweat just thinking about drinking hot coffee.

We ordered cold drinks and they brought a bowl of potato chips (patatine fritte?) which was a nice touch. Bella ordered something new and now has a new favorite drink: Hugo spritz. She likes it much better than the Aperol spritz. A Hugo is Prosecco, along with a sprig of fresh peppermint. What gives it a distinct, refreshing flavor is elderflower syrup. Cristina liked it too. It was indeed very refreshing in the heat. I did a little research, and even though some think of a Hugo as a German drink, it was invented in northern Italy...by a German. Apparently they are very popular in Germany and Austria too. By the way, the inventor's name was not Hugo. It was Roland Gruber.


We paid the bill and marched on. We looked at some things in the park. Statues. A little amphitheatre thing that was once used for weddings. A pond that some ducks were boiling in.

Parma graffiti artists are very literate

We left the park and came across a massive building called the Palazzo della Pilotta. It's actually a complex of buildings. Several museums, a theatre, and an art gallery call it home. We didn't want to spend 16 euros per person to go inside, so we mainly used it for some temporary shade. And some selfies.




Next, we came across a church-museum thing: Monastery and Chamber of St. Paul. Today was its free day. So we did it. Old frescoes in an old building. Slightly cooler inside, so it was a nice diversion. Not very big though.

We went into a church/cathedral that was way bigger than the one in Bubbio. Gorgeous in an old-school religious iconography kinda way.

We finally found an area that had more people and a few shops open. We stopped at a place that only seemed to be serving drinks and pastries. Best of all, they had indoor seating and cold air conditioning! Bella got another Hugo. Not only did they bring a bowl of chips with our drinks, they also brought a plate with an assortment of little sandwiches and focaccia. What they call in Costa Rica bocas. We stretched this place out as long as we could because of the AC. It was glorious.

Back on the hunt for things to do on foot in Parma, we checked out a Bialetti store. Bialetti is the original brand (and inventor) of the Moka pot. If I'm going to buy a Moka pot, it would be nice to get an actual Bialetti. But these were super pricy. You're paying for the brand name. Not that important to me. I'll probably either get one on Amazon when I get home or buy a cheap one at a Coop before we leave.

I tried to find a farmer's market so we could buy a bit of authentic Parmigiano Reggiano cheese, but everything was closed. We hit one more church on the way back to the train station. This one was the biggest of all so far. I've never yet been in a church in Italy that is smaller than the previous one I was in. Only getting bigger.

Utterly exhausted from the heat and thirsty, we boarded the train back to Fidenza. We got home and took cool showers and drank lots of water.

None of us really wanted to go back out in the heat and find another restaurant for dinner, so Cristina and I drove to Aldi and got stuff for dinner: Caprese salad fixings, ravioli with pesto, and some other odds and ends, like coffee and pastries for breakfast. A simple dinner at the dining room table was great. And air conditioned.

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