Couchsurfing

We are not hardcore couchsurfers, but we've stayed with one before.

If you don't know what couchsurfing is, here's a quick education. It's an online social networking tool for finding people to host you, or to offer your guest room (or couch) to others, for free.

When I tell people that my family occasionally couchsurfs, I often hear something along the lines of "That would make me nervous," or "I could never do that," or "Maybe when the kids are grown and on their own."

First, what are the advantages of staying with friends or family while traveling? A free bed? Home-cooked meal? Sharing a genuine connection with your company? Getting the true local flavor of an area? Wouldn't it be nice if you could stay with friends or family no matter where you went?

When eBay first started up, some people were nervous about buying from strangers. Specifically, the idea of sending someone money before they mail you a product was uncomfortable. But when you buy something off eBay, there are mechanisms designed to help you trust the transaction. Feedback is the main one. Before you purchase, you can look at the seller's feedback. If they've got a hundred positive transactions and no negative ones, and the reviews are things like "this seller was great to work with, fast shipping, item exactly as described," you can trust that your transaction will most likely go off without a hitch. On the other hand, if some of the feedback is negative, or even if some of the positive reviews include hints like "item arrived later than I thought, but basically fine," you can decide not to do business with that seller and look elsewhere. And if a seller has no feedback at all, it might be too much of a gamble.

Couchsurfing employs the eBay model of trust-building, which is critical for something as intimate as sleeping in a stranger's house.

Let's say we're driving to Phoenix from Florida. 2000 miles. It would be nice to break it up over several days. Options: stay in hotels or youth hostels, camp, stay with friends/family if possible, or couchsurf (I suppose sleeping in your car is also an option, but not one I'd take at this stage in my life).

I go to couchsurfing.org (where I already have established a profile) and enter the city that I'd like to find a couch. I briefly describe why I'm visiting and how many are in my group. Then, I get a list of possible hosts. I can read their profiles and feedback from other people who have hosted them or stayed with them. If I like what I read, I send them a request, which is basically a message I write that gets to them through the couchsurfing website. When they read it they respond (hopefully) with a yes, no or maybe. We can have a dialogue, back and forth, to "meet" each other, discuss all kinds of issues (arrival times, food, plans of what to do while there, sleeping arrangements, shared interests, etc.). By the time we actually arrive at their house, we feel like we already know them. Much of the time we spend with them, we'll most likely hang out, chat, share stories, and get to know each other better. By the time we leave, we have a new friend.

The challenges: Couchsurfing attracts people who like to travel and meet new people and experience other cultures, but it also attracts a lot of young people who, for lack of a better term, like to party. It's no surprise that there are a lot more 20-year-olds, less encumbered with the responsibilities of adult life (careers, family, paying bills, getting enough sleep), who are willing to host. So when reading through the profiles, I tend to skip these. Hosts who offer space for a family of five do exist, but they are fewer.

In my experience, couchsurfing folk can be broken down into three main categories of people, with lots of exceptions in between. Over-generalizing is never a good thing, so excuse the names of my categories, which, in keeping with the concept of over-generalization, are not entirely accurate:

THE PARTIERS
They're either college students or just a few years out of college. They are high on life and the novelty of adulthood. They almost always mention in their profile the substances/beverages they enjoy that add to their happy state, with a generous invitation to partake with their guests. Profile picture is often them in a club, holding a drink.

THE HIPPIES
They're any age, generally 20's to 70's. These folk are great, probably more similar to us than most would think, but the tricky thing with the hippies is that their definition of comfort can be...alternative. It's not uncommon to read things like "You can sleep wherever you want, but you might be sharing a room with three other guys, two dogs, a parrot, and my kombucha vats." I love the hippies because they're so open and accommodating (although I've never met any couchsurfer who seemed close-minded about anything). Nothing is weird. It's all good. Peace and love.

THE CULTURE JUNKIES
These are usually hardcore travelers. They list the countries they've visited and you have to scroll down to read them all. They host a ton of people. They know how to haggle in the markets of Marrakesh and discuss the intricacies of Scandinavian art. Their worldwide network of friends and acquaintances is breathtaking. They are, to steal from the Dos Equis marketing campaign, the most interesting people in the world. That hardcore couchsurfer at the start of this post that I said I'd stayed with? He fit this category.

THE PROFESSIONALS
Adults in the truest sense, they work a lot, and use couchsurfing as a means to meet new people amidst their busy lives. They often mention in their profile that they may not have a lot of time to show you around, but they'll try their best. They tend to be more likely to have kids.

THE DREAMIES
I call them the Dreamies because their situation sounds so amazing, its almost like a dream. "I have a 5 bedroom house near downtown. You can use four bedrooms, stay as long as you want, use my washer and dryer, borrow my car, and I'll cook gourmet meals for you. And if I'm not there, I'll leave the key under the mat." Wait, what?! Dreamies are rare, but there are more Dreamies hosting people than you might think.

Like I said, there are plenty of people who don't fit these categories, or are blends of more than one (personally, I think we're a blend of hippie, culture junkie, and professional). Runners-up categories include retirees, families, expats, and outdoors junkies.

In terms of our European summer, I'm trying to line up 11 nights of couchsurfing (not consecutive) in London (2), Liverpool (2), Scotland (3), Frankfurt vicinity (3), and Copenhagen (1). It's still quite early, so I haven't gotten any acceptances yet. The kind of people who use couchsurfing are also the kind of people who travel a lot themselves, so often a request gets turned down because they won't be home, or they'll give a maybe because they don't know what they'll be doing in 3 months. The key is patience, requesting to people who have a high percentage response rate, and putting out as many personalized requests as possible. We'll see what happens.

This will be our first couchsurfing abroad. I'm looking forward to it.