Giving Thanks

I realized yesterday how unpleasant things have been lately. Maybe it's just me, and I take plenty of blame, but there has not been a lot of joy during the past few weeks of packing up/cleaning the house. I've been grouchy, the kids are fighting, even Cristina, who is usually the fun, cheerful one, has had her grouchy moments. So to combat all that, I thought I'd post a list of things that I'm grateful for (thanks for the idea, Helena). This list is in no particular order.

Free bagels - Gary, a friend and teacher next door to me, gave me two gift certificates for free bagels and cream cheese from Chompie's. We love bagels in our house, and Chompie's are great. And you can't beat free.


Drive-in - We took the kids to a drive-in movie Friday night. It was Sofia's first time ever, and the second time for the other two. We took Alex's friend, Seth, as well. The younger 3 sat on the roof for part of the movie. Sofia wanted to sit up there too, but I wouldn't let her. I thought it would be too much weight (next time, I'll bring something to put across the luggage rack so she can sit up there too). We saw How to Train Your Dragon and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. We sat in camp chairs, ate Boston Market from paper plates, and then shared a bag of popcorn. Good times.

Best Daddy Ever - Sunday, I was running errands with Bella and Alex. We had an hour to kill while waiting for a tire to get repaired, so I went to In-and-Out Burger to get a burger for each of us. When Bella heard where we were going, she said "You're the best daddy EVER!" It was so sincere and sweet, and I realized that I won't have too many more years of hearing those kinds of comments (once the kids get older they don't quite gush like that for their parents). Right after she said it, she added, "Of course, you're my only dad." Bella, the analytical gusher.

Health - I'm so glad that even though my nose is stuffy and running, my eyes are watering, and I'm sneezing a lot, and I've been getting headaches, I don't have a fever or anything more severe that would cause me to miss work. I haven't had a true sick day in well over a year. It's probably just pollen from our mesquite tree, since blankets of the stuff are all over our front yard and constantly blowing into the garage.


Tires - Thankfully, on Friday, I had two intact tires on my car. And thankfully, one of the flat ones didn't cost anything to get repaired on Sunday. And thankfully, the other flat one will get fixed or replaced today. And a big thanks go to my little Subaru, who provides me transportation with no car payment. I thought I would have replaced that car 5 years ago, but she keeps chugging along. She turns 16 this year. Old enough to get her driver's license.

Clean Kitchen - Though we didn't get as much cleaning done this weekend as we'd hoped, the kitchen is much improved. All the counters are decluttered now, and it looks good enough to show to prospective buyers. The whole downstairs is close to being done.

Craigslist - I'm thankful for Craigslist for helping me sell stuff. It's free to advertise, and the buyers come pick the stuff up. Double win. Yesterday I posted our kitchen table and chairs, and somebody emailed me and said they'd pay me $30 more than my asking price if I'd save it for them for 3 or 4 days. I'm not desperate to get rid of it immediately, so no problem. I've never had someone offer to pay more than what I asked. Could be my best Craigslist sale ever.

Cristina to Baltimore - I'm thankful that we found a way to get Cristina to Baltimore for a Jin Shin Jyutsu training. And I'm even more grateful to the couchsurfer who is picking her up from the airport and hosting her for 6 days. I hope Cristina has a wonderful time and comes back renewed and full of joy. Our household needs a good injection of that.

Green grass - This might sound strange and trivial. I was looking at the website for Gainesville High school this morning, which had a photo of their baseball field. The grass looked so incredibly green. I felt a sense of relief and renewal just looking at it. Knowing that Gainesville is one of the places we might wind up at this summer makes me feel good.


There's plenty more I'm thankful for, but I have a class starting soon, so I have to wrap up. I'm thankful that I have a job teaching good kids. And considering the high today is 93 (34 C) I'm thankful that the air conditioning is working.

Update on House Prep

As most of you know, we're planning a move this summer, and our house is going on the market. It was supposed to list yesterday, but I haven't turned in the listing paperwork yet. Just as well, too, since the house is still not ready to be shown. Our Realtor said not to worry about decluttering, just to make sure it's clean. Yeah, well, it's not. So we're not ready.

But we are making progress, which is good.

First of all, it helps that we have no pets right now. It's hard enough to keep a house clean with 3 kids, but add a dog and 2 cats, and the clean-up increases exponentially. Thank you again, Mom and Dad, for taking on 3 more animals for a few months. I know it makes more work for you guys, but I know our animals are safe and happy.

It's nice to know that we can dump a load of clean clothes on a bed without getting cat hair all over them. Or to vacuum and know that the floor will stay clean for longer than a few hours.

We tackled the downstairs last weekend. We didn't quite get it all show-ready like I wanted, but it's close. Most everything from the cabinets is boxed and, the sofa cover has been changed and all the sofa pillow covers have been washed. Our sofa is cat-hair and dog-poop free! I know, you're probably thinking "You had dog poop on your sofa?" But Frenchies sometimes get "poopie-butt," and an accidental rub of butt against the side of the sofa = poop on sofa. Thank goodness for IKEA sofas with their removable, machine-washable covers.

The kitchen even got a little decluttered: the candles, oil lamps, and trinkets on the top of our cabinets are cleaned and boxed, and two cabinets of dishes have been pared down and boxed. Cristina still has her sewing stuff all over the dining room, so it still needs some work.

Nice thing about a short sale: I don't have to worry about painting over our green kitchen or blue living room, nor do I have to replace the carpet (the animals have torn up the carpet in a couple of small places). When you're getting a house for a steal (I'm sure that's how Wells Fargo sees it) you get it as is. Clean, but not perfect.

So that's the latest. No pictures, but just thought I'd give an update, for the 2 or 3 people who care. Mom. Dad.

The Confederacy: Kill the Myth Once and For All

Just returning from a trip to the South, and planning a move back to the South, I've recently been thinking about this odd notion of Confederate pride. Even born and raised as a Southerner, I never understood the need some Southerners feel to fly the Confederate flag or display bumper stickers that say "The South Will Rise Again." After the governor of Virginia proclaimed April "Confederate History Month," Jeff Schweitzer wrote this article for the Huffington Post. It pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole issue, so I thought I'd reprint it here.

The Confederacy: Kill the Myth Once and For All
by Jeff Schweitzer

On April 3, 1865, Richmond, Virginia, fell to Union soldiers as Confederate troops retreated to the West, exhausted, weak, and low on supplies. The end would come soon thereafter. On April 5, Generals Robert E. Lee and Ulysses S. Grant started an exchange of notes that would lead to Lee's surrender at Appomattox on April 9. As we approach this important anniversary, the time is upon us to consider, and ultimately reject, the sterilized myths of the Confederacy.

Southerners who claim a deep national pride celebrate their ancestors' efforts to dissolve the very union of states whose flag they now so proudly fly. They honor a campaign to destroy our country but claim the mantle of patriot. That makes no sense. The contradiction is always swept under the rug, but that must stop. Next year will mark the 150th anniversary of the war's first battle; that is a good time to close this chapter of hypocrisy and inconsistency. A southern loyalist cannot be a patriot; the two ideals are mutually incompatible. You cannot simultaneously love the United States and love the idea of destroying the United States. To claim both is insane, the equivalent of declaring that you love all Mexican food but hate enchiladas. The claims are each exclusive of the other and therefore by definition both cannot be true.

Let us take one issue off the table immediately. Certainly one can rightly honor the bravery of fallen soldiers no matter whether they wore blue or grey. We can appreciate the rare military genius of Robert E. Lee, and the loyalty and dedication of Stonewall Jackson, George Pickett and Nathan Forrest. These generals and the men they led fought valiantly, with integrity, with honor, for a cause in which they believed passionately. For this we owe them our deepest respect.

But honoring the man is not equivalent to honoring the cause for which he fought. The cause championed by the South should cover every American with shame. Have no doubt that the South was at war to dismantle our nation, to destroy our Constitution. For this goal of secession, of which nobody should be proud, more than 630,000 soldiers (some claim up to 700,000) were killed or wounded in four years of hellish war. To put this in perspective consider that the entire population of the United States at war's end was 35 million, putting war casualties at nearly 2% of the total populace. Equivalent rates of casualties today would result in 5 million dead or wounded, dwarfing our losses in World War II, or any other war.

Why did 2% of our population suffer death or maiming? Over the issue of state sovereignty and the interpretation of the Tenth Amendment (ratified in 1791). The text is simple enough: "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people." But we also have the Supremacy Clause of Article VI of the Constitution, which say, "This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding."

Simply put, 11 southern states seceded from the Union in protest against federal legislation that limited the expansion of slavery claiming that such legislation violated the tenth amendment, which they argued trumped the Supremacy Clause. The war was indeed about protecting the institution of slavery, but only as a specific case of a state's right to declare a federal law null and void.

The inherent tension between Article VI and the Tenth Amendment of the Constitution has kept lawyers busy and wealthy since our founding, and the argument goes on today. But the South went a significant step further than arguing a case. In seceding from the Union those states declared the U.S. Constitution dead. The president of the United States, sworn to uphold the Constitution, had no choice but to take whatever measures were necessary to fulfill his commitment. So war came.

So what exactly about that history would lead one to fly a Confederate flag over a state capitol building, or paste one on a F150 bumper or wear one on a T-shirt? Is the South proud of its efforts to protect slavery? Or attempting to destroy the United States through dissolution? For starting a war in which 2% of the population died? For losing the war? These are odd banners to carry around for nearly 150 years.

Perhaps the pride comes from the fact that the South stood up to a greater power, at least checking or slowing the pace of an expanding federalism. But even that does not pass the smell test; by starting but then losing the war the South created the exact opposite effect, solidifying federal power like never before.

But damn if the South does not hold on to the war as if they never actually lost, fighting incongruously for a hopeless cause of questionable value while simultaneously wrapping themselves in the American flag! So we get oddities like Virginia Governor Robert McDonnell proclaiming April "Confederate History Month" without ever mentioning slavery. When questioned about this curious oversight, McDonnell lamely explained that "there were any number of aspects to that conflict between the states. Obviously, it involved slavery. It involved other issues. But I focused on the ones I thought were most significant for Virginia." Really? If slavery was not among the most "significant" issues for Virginia, exactly what other state right was being violated by federal law leading to the Civil War? Does McDonnell even know the history of the war? Sadly, McDonnell is the not the first governor of his state to explicitly omit slavery from lofty declarations. Former Republican Virginia Governor Republican George Allen also failed to recognize slavery when making a similar proclamation. Seems to be a disease of Republican governors, a historic irony given the role of the young Republican Party in the war.

The South started and lost a war that nearly destroyed the United States in pursuit of a terrible cause. Let it go. Let. It. Go. You fought well but lost decisively. Your cause was unjust. Your actions were treasonous. There is no part of the Confederate cause of which to be proud. There is no moral high ground here. Waving the American flag while fiercely defending the effort to tear that flag down is untenable. Make a choice; be a proud American or a proud Confederate. You cannot possibly be both.